Wednesday, April 28, 2004
On days that Ashna has a school holiday and I have a working day - it's usually tough coming to work. When she used to see me get ready - she used to start demanding that I shouldn't be going which was usually followed by crying. No explanation helped in such situations.
When her summer holidays set in I was terrified of this repeating everyday for 2 months. Luckily enuf her first cousin's in town with my parents - so that would mean she will spend half her holidays there. So the agony at least gets reduced by half.
Funnily enough this time there's a change in behaviour - no crying no complaining - just a sweet and simple song when I'm getting set to leave for work, which jingles in a cute and consistent tune; has just has 3 words repeated continuously "Mummy ki chutti - Mummy ki chutti... " It makes me smile as opposed to the guilt the earlier behaviour got. She lets me leave pretty easily and an hour later when my FIL leaves the same song gets repeated with the word Mummy replaced by "Daadu"! Cool na :-)
Got to go to US for approx 3 weeks - and I'll remember this while leaving for work - wonder if she'll miss singing this song for me everyday :-(
When her summer holidays set in I was terrified of this repeating everyday for 2 months. Luckily enuf her first cousin's in town with my parents - so that would mean she will spend half her holidays there. So the agony at least gets reduced by half.
Funnily enough this time there's a change in behaviour - no crying no complaining - just a sweet and simple song when I'm getting set to leave for work, which jingles in a cute and consistent tune; has just has 3 words repeated continuously "Mummy ki chutti - Mummy ki chutti... " It makes me smile as opposed to the guilt the earlier behaviour got. She lets me leave pretty easily and an hour later when my FIL leaves the same song gets repeated with the word Mummy replaced by "Daadu"! Cool na :-)
Got to go to US for approx 3 weeks - and I'll remember this while leaving for work - wonder if she'll miss singing this song for me everyday :-(
Tuesday, April 27, 2004
My list of things to be done refuses to end - What do I do!! Right now I just feel like taking sanyas!
Thursday, April 01, 2004
Back again :-)
It sounds silly to decide to close down and be back - but I am! Believe me it's not that I was just wanting some "bhav" (as LD says)! Though it does feel good that you are wanted back ;-)
Anyways I am back to blogging again though not entirely in a happy & cheery mood.
I have been having this crazy feeling these days that most relationships in this world are "useless" and extremely conditional; you remove one thing out and the whole thing seems to break down and you can see the shallowness and emptiness of it all.
Losing a friend for me gets very tough and that's what has happened with me. For so long now I did not want to believe, and also it was not so obvious that one decision of mine has caused this damage in the bond. But now it's gotten so clear to me, even though my friend will never accept that this is the reason for it. I wonder if we will even bother to discuss why we lost it , and I'm sure if we do it will just be blaming each other and denying the real fact that it was indeed conditional!
How I wish it were unconditional love; the kind that exists only in your family bonds these days!
All this did leave me bitter and I thought that investing any time in friendship is the most stupid thing to do... maybe all of this also in a way contributed to me stopping my blog. But I guess I have to come out of it anyways.....
Anyways I am back to blogging again though not entirely in a happy & cheery mood.
I have been having this crazy feeling these days that most relationships in this world are "useless" and extremely conditional; you remove one thing out and the whole thing seems to break down and you can see the shallowness and emptiness of it all.
Losing a friend for me gets very tough and that's what has happened with me. For so long now I did not want to believe, and also it was not so obvious that one decision of mine has caused this damage in the bond. But now it's gotten so clear to me, even though my friend will never accept that this is the reason for it. I wonder if we will even bother to discuss why we lost it , and I'm sure if we do it will just be blaming each other and denying the real fact that it was indeed conditional!
How I wish it were unconditional love; the kind that exists only in your family bonds these days!
All this did leave me bitter and I thought that investing any time in friendship is the most stupid thing to do... maybe all of this also in a way contributed to me stopping my blog. But I guess I have to come out of it anyways.....
